In some ways, I feel like Christian guys are worse than non-Christian
guys in the sense that, Christian guys don’t know how to properly say no to a
girl. Whether or not this girl is interested in them in a romantic way is
irrelevant. Christian guys simply don’t know how to say “no” properly. This is
based off my recent encounter with one on an online dating site/app (which
shall remain nameless). I’d been on for a while, as an upgraded member, I want
to take an advantage of it, right? So, I’m just chatting regularly with mostly
randoms who only last a few weeks in conversation. Once they realize they can’t
meet me to hump into the sack, that I require intelligent conversation and a
friendship first, they often go their own way and delete my message thread.
Yup! Short, simple, and to the point. It’s come to me checking my “sent
messages” before I check for new messages. I want to see who looked at me and
then deleted my message as opposed to read my note and then deleted my message.
It makes a difference. Not too sure how just yet, but I know it does.
Okay, so you’re asking where I’m getting my Christian guys are worse
than secular guys argument and here it is! Most non-Christian guys delete right
away or after a few moments. That’s just how it is. It’s quick, merciful, and a
swift rejection. This clown that I’m chatting with about our common interest is
responding minutes after my responses. We’re jiving, chatting, and really
getting along. And to be PERFECTLY honest, I only sent a message to him because
he wore a Nikon camera in his profile pic! As if you couldn’t tell by my
profile and social media, cameras are my THING!! Come on, now. And I know he
checked out my profile. In fact, I’m holding my Canon 7D in one of my photos! I
can’t be more for-reals jived to see a fellow photog enthusiast like myself on
the site! And, well, although he’s DEFINITELY NOT my type of guy, I wanted to
make friends and see if we could swap shooting secrets! And as we’re chatting,
it’s so fun and he likes to shoot on 35 mm film, so that’s a trip for me! Gosh,
I can’t even tell you how great we were jiving, so I asked if we could meet and
talk about it in person noting that our meet would NOT be a date.
He didn’t respond within 7 hours… And the app showed that he read it
right away. My response is “JUST SAY NO THEN!!!” Why the puck are you making me
wait and think the world of things?! Why can’t you be the Christian man you
claim to be in your profile and just give a straight answer?! What is the harm
in telling me, someone who NEVER expressed interest in anything other than your
photog skills, that you don’t want to meet up and chat about more photog stuff?
Are you afraid I might react negatively and plead with you? Because I won’t. Weren’t
you Bible-based, boy? Why aren’t you referring to the Bible in this case? Do
NOT lie! Tell truth!! Come on, just say “NO” and adding a “thanks” is just good
manners!
I’m so annoyed with this because, for a Non-C to do this, okay, I get
it. Different morals, different upbringing, different culture, of course he
will beat around the bush… But for a Christian guy to do the non-Christian guy
thing… It’s no wonder they’re so weak… I’ve rarely felt protected around
certain male Christian friends and it’s for this reason. No isn’t that simple
to them… it carries sadness, hurt, resentment, self-punishment, and the like.
So, they give other reasons and such. As for me, I LOATHE guys like that!! It
pisses me off because when did Jesus ever say “Well, um, I don’t think that…” Some
would argue, he never said “No” but I argue that he straight up told you what
TO DO and what NOT TO DO. There was no “I
think you might want to consider selling most or all of your stuff” to the rich
man. He told that man to “sell” and “follow”. Right?!
OMG. I’m going to have to respond to the poor conflicted guy who is
trying to find a good way to say “No” to me. I just pray that I have the
patience to write it before deleting his message thread. And I just hope to God
that my future husband will not be so wishy-washy. There’s nothing more
frustrating to me, a filmmaker and writer/director, than someone who can’t say “NO”
directly. There are far fewer problems and issues if you do the simple thing. Think
of all the hassle and trouble you’ll save yourself if you’re direct without
adding on weird and unclear excuses.
So, to all the Christian brothers out there who want to say no to
something or someone… JUST SAY NO!
***
In the end… I guess it was my fault for thinking I could make a friend
or that he’d be more straight with me. I guess, a real flaw of mine is that I
think all Christians are straight forward like how I am when it comes to making
decisions. Apparently, it seems, I’m still more of a “man” than the men in this
religion. It saddens me that many Christian men are still so weak and powerless in the conflicting world we live in. … Sigh. So sad.
