The Love-Con Scammer-Man

I’ve been scammed before for cold, hard, cash. And I lost it to them without thinking. Lesson learned, I thought, until another scam happened my way.

I’d been on online dating for the better part of 2 years and I hated it. Finding guys, meeting them, not/liking them, and then trying to not get physical right away. It sucked. I wanted more. I wanted romance. I wanted love and unconditional companionship. Sweet words of affirmation, confirmation, and mushy love. And this con artist gave it to me. Let’s call him Jack (who knows what his real name is?).

Jack found me on OkCupid and started swearing to the world that I was the one for him. If not me, then he would not marry again. After a bad divorce that ended 6 years prior to meeting me, which he stayed celibate during, he worked hard and made his way out of XiaMen, FuJian, in China to Hong Kong to work for Lippo Securities Ltd. (Yes… apparently, most of them do).

We talked about his hopes and dreams matching with mine, personal preferences, and the moon and stars. We talked about getting married, having a kid, and how his parents and my parents are. We discussed our families, and him being an only child, how happy he would be to have so many more family members all at once just by marrying me. He wanted to elope when my family first questioned him but we talked it down and he agreed to meet me about two months after first contact.

He was the first message I read in the morning when I woke up, and because of the time difference between LA and HK, he was the last message I read at night, before he trained me to sleep at 9 pm, his 12 pm the next day. We talked about my moving over there to live with him, talking through the night, and even sexual needs and preferences. There was a lot going on and yet, that fateful day came when his company suddenly had an opportunity to invest and profit was guaranteed.

I initially said no, because I’d always been told NOT to toy with the stock market, especially since I didn’t know anything about it. But he assured me that he would be my guarantor and watch my back as long as I was able to have the starting capital, the least amount, $5k. So, I borrowed money from people without telling them the truth as to why I needed it, and I added it to my own funds (my savings), so that I could send it to a shell company his company set up under a name of a man I didn’t know. And since it’s a personal account, I can never ask for it back. How convenient, eh?

He urged me to invest more but I don’t just have thousands laying around, nor was I able to ask to borrow from anyone else. Anyways, he eventually gave up when he found I wouldn’t, and after about 3 days, he reported that we’d made more than $600k. … Um… no, that’s not normal. Anyways, it was time to cash out! Which meant, the company would take 30%, half of the 70% was taxed, so the remaining $370k was my profit. And when the company went to go send the money to me, there was an issue with the Internal Tax Revenue Department (YinHuaShui) which demanded I pay 0.05% before I can get the profits. And that amount was $19k.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE!!

I barely scraped together $5k and now, they needed $19k to get out my profits. And, so I talked to a money guy I knew who told me to consult my CPA. So, I went to EVERY CPA I knew in LA, HK, and Taiwan, and got the same response. Whenever you have to first pay money for money that’s already yours, IT’S A SCAM. And so, that’s when I realize that, as my Uncle advised, if I took my emotional connection out of it, IT’S TOTALLY NOT RIGHT!! To have money transferred before even meeting this guy, and all that, is just wrong! But I ignored the flags and kept searching for answers.

I emailed Lippo Securities and they replied that they didn’t have anyone by his English and Chinese name working for them. My Uncle sent Lippo Securities a document with the Lippo heading on it and Lippo confirmed that the documents were forged (and were sorry for my loss). He kept telling me not to go to my parents or family about this when a man who is not trying to con you would suggest the opposite. He kept urging me to add to the funds because he was embarrassed to have only put in so little when the other guarantors put in so much more. My Uncle wanted his work number so they could chat but Jack kept avoiding it, saying the lines were recorded and he signed a confidentiality agreement, which meant he couldn’t talk about the event. (… forged, too?)  

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Cue the entrance for the F4 (“Boys Over Flowers” or Kang cousins “Cinderella and the 4 Knights”) to come save my skin. Where is the “City Hunter” or “Black Butler” when I need to be saved and avenged for this terrible crime that has made me, once again, a victim? And you better believe I am so angry and I feel so betrayed right now while writing this. In truth, first came the numb feeling of denial, and then an overwhelming sense of sadness and hurt… now, I’m in full-on American-bitch mode, putting together my materials for my police report. And, since it’s an international crime, I think the FBI, too?

I talked to some friends who I’d been talking with about Jack and most of them said they chose not to say anything about their suspicions because of how happy he made me. To have someone love me, unconditionally, from afar, and continue to pursue me with marriage intentions, it’s everything someone of my age and career wanted. At one point, I was even willing to give up my career for him. … I was willing to have a kid with him.

However, knowing all I did and yet, I let him be the one to break it off with me because I wondered how he would do it. And, as it was, he accused me of letting my family get between us and said we could only be friends. But, if I ever went to HK, he would be willing to meet up. So, for the rest of the night, we were very quiet. The money guy called once more and I turned him down, and then he slipped up. He said he didn’t see Jack at work all day and then mentioned how he looked pale. Interesting what they can see over phones, eh? 

So I checked on Jack, who told me to get away from him.

And then, he unfriended me. That’s it. THAT WAS HIS MASTER PLAN?! GEEZ!!

Why take the submissive approach? Well, he didn’t know I reported him to the authorities and FBI. He didn’t know I found out much earlier on and pretty much WATCHED him play me… as if he was in charge. When I refused to pay the larger amount was when he started getting angry and aggravated. The fool thought he was manipulating me, but, in truth, I got some fun in for myself.

I've had time to clear my mind since it happened. It's been about 3 weeks, and today was supposed to be the 3rd day of his LA-trip. Hehe. For someone who didn't exist, he sure made a ripple on my life... LOL!!

Where have all the STRONG MEN gone? (04.18.16)

In some ways, I feel like Christian guys are worse than non-Christian guys in the sense that, Christian guys don’t know how to properly say no to a girl. Whether or not this girl is interested in them in a romantic way is irrelevant. Christian guys simply don’t know how to say “no” properly. This is based off my recent encounter with one on an online dating site/app (which shall remain nameless). I’d been on for a while, as an upgraded member, I want to take an advantage of it, right? So, I’m just chatting regularly with mostly randoms who only last a few weeks in conversation. Once they realize they can’t meet me to hump into the sack, that I require intelligent conversation and a friendship first, they often go their own way and delete my message thread. Yup! Short, simple, and to the point. It’s come to me checking my “sent messages” before I check for new messages. I want to see who looked at me and then deleted my message as opposed to read my note and then deleted my message. It makes a difference. Not too sure how just yet, but I know it does.

Okay, so you’re asking where I’m getting my Christian guys are worse than secular guys argument and here it is! Most non-Christian guys delete right away or after a few moments. That’s just how it is. It’s quick, merciful, and a swift rejection. This clown that I’m chatting with about our common interest is responding minutes after my responses. We’re jiving, chatting, and really getting along. And to be PERFECTLY honest, I only sent a message to him because he wore a Nikon camera in his profile pic! As if you couldn’t tell by my profile and social media, cameras are my THING!! Come on, now. And I know he checked out my profile. In fact, I’m holding my Canon 7D in one of my photos! I can’t be more for-reals jived to see a fellow photog enthusiast like myself on the site! And, well, although he’s DEFINITELY NOT my type of guy, I wanted to make friends and see if we could swap shooting secrets! And as we’re chatting, it’s so fun and he likes to shoot on 35 mm film, so that’s a trip for me! Gosh, I can’t even tell you how great we were jiving, so I asked if we could meet and talk about it in person noting that our meet would NOT be a date.

He didn’t respond within 7 hours… And the app showed that he read it right away. My response is “JUST SAY NO THEN!!!” Why the puck are you making me wait and think the world of things?! Why can’t you be the Christian man you claim to be in your profile and just give a straight answer?! What is the harm in telling me, someone who NEVER expressed interest in anything other than your photog skills, that you don’t want to meet up and chat about more photog stuff? Are you afraid I might react negatively and plead with you? Because I won’t. Weren’t you Bible-based, boy? Why aren’t you referring to the Bible in this case? Do NOT lie! Tell truth!! Come on, just say “NO” and adding a “thanks” is just good manners!

I’m so annoyed with this because, for a Non-C to do this, okay, I get it. Different morals, different upbringing, different culture, of course he will beat around the bush… But for a Christian guy to do the non-Christian guy thing… It’s no wonder they’re so weak… I’ve rarely felt protected around certain male Christian friends and it’s for this reason. No isn’t that simple to them… it carries sadness, hurt, resentment, self-punishment, and the like. So, they give other reasons and such. As for me, I LOATHE guys like that!! It pisses me off because when did Jesus ever say “Well, um, I don’t think that…” Some would argue, he never said “No” but I argue that he straight up told you what TO DO  and what NOT TO DO. There was no “I think you might want to consider selling most or all of your stuff” to the rich man. He told that man to “sell” and “follow”. Right?!

OMG. I’m going to have to respond to the poor conflicted guy who is trying to find a good way to say “No” to me. I just pray that I have the patience to write it before deleting his message thread. And I just hope to God that my future husband will not be so wishy-washy. There’s nothing more frustrating to me, a filmmaker and writer/director, than someone who can’t say “NO” directly. There are far fewer problems and issues if you do the simple thing. Think of all the hassle and trouble you’ll save yourself if you’re direct without adding on weird and unclear excuses.

So, to all the Christian brothers out there who want to say no to something or someone… JUST SAY NO!

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In the end… I guess it was my fault for thinking I could make a friend or that he’d be more straight with me. I guess, a real flaw of mine is that I think all Christians are straight forward like how I am when it comes to making decisions. Apparently, it seems, I’m still more of a “man” than the men in this religion. It saddens me that many Christian men are still so weak and powerless in the conflicting world we live in. … Sigh. So sad.