The Love-Con Scammer-Man

I’ve been scammed before for cold, hard, cash. And I lost it to them without thinking. Lesson learned, I thought, until another scam happened my way.

I’d been on online dating for the better part of 2 years and I hated it. Finding guys, meeting them, not/liking them, and then trying to not get physical right away. It sucked. I wanted more. I wanted romance. I wanted love and unconditional companionship. Sweet words of affirmation, confirmation, and mushy love. And this con artist gave it to me. Let’s call him Jack (who knows what his real name is?).

Jack found me on OkCupid and started swearing to the world that I was the one for him. If not me, then he would not marry again. After a bad divorce that ended 6 years prior to meeting me, which he stayed celibate during, he worked hard and made his way out of XiaMen, FuJian, in China to Hong Kong to work for Lippo Securities Ltd. (Yes… apparently, most of them do).

We talked about his hopes and dreams matching with mine, personal preferences, and the moon and stars. We talked about getting married, having a kid, and how his parents and my parents are. We discussed our families, and him being an only child, how happy he would be to have so many more family members all at once just by marrying me. He wanted to elope when my family first questioned him but we talked it down and he agreed to meet me about two months after first contact.

He was the first message I read in the morning when I woke up, and because of the time difference between LA and HK, he was the last message I read at night, before he trained me to sleep at 9 pm, his 12 pm the next day. We talked about my moving over there to live with him, talking through the night, and even sexual needs and preferences. There was a lot going on and yet, that fateful day came when his company suddenly had an opportunity to invest and profit was guaranteed.

I initially said no, because I’d always been told NOT to toy with the stock market, especially since I didn’t know anything about it. But he assured me that he would be my guarantor and watch my back as long as I was able to have the starting capital, the least amount, $5k. So, I borrowed money from people without telling them the truth as to why I needed it, and I added it to my own funds (my savings), so that I could send it to a shell company his company set up under a name of a man I didn’t know. And since it’s a personal account, I can never ask for it back. How convenient, eh?

He urged me to invest more but I don’t just have thousands laying around, nor was I able to ask to borrow from anyone else. Anyways, he eventually gave up when he found I wouldn’t, and after about 3 days, he reported that we’d made more than $600k. … Um… no, that’s not normal. Anyways, it was time to cash out! Which meant, the company would take 30%, half of the 70% was taxed, so the remaining $370k was my profit. And when the company went to go send the money to me, there was an issue with the Internal Tax Revenue Department (YinHuaShui) which demanded I pay 0.05% before I can get the profits. And that amount was $19k.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE!!

I barely scraped together $5k and now, they needed $19k to get out my profits. And, so I talked to a money guy I knew who told me to consult my CPA. So, I went to EVERY CPA I knew in LA, HK, and Taiwan, and got the same response. Whenever you have to first pay money for money that’s already yours, IT’S A SCAM. And so, that’s when I realize that, as my Uncle advised, if I took my emotional connection out of it, IT’S TOTALLY NOT RIGHT!! To have money transferred before even meeting this guy, and all that, is just wrong! But I ignored the flags and kept searching for answers.

I emailed Lippo Securities and they replied that they didn’t have anyone by his English and Chinese name working for them. My Uncle sent Lippo Securities a document with the Lippo heading on it and Lippo confirmed that the documents were forged (and were sorry for my loss). He kept telling me not to go to my parents or family about this when a man who is not trying to con you would suggest the opposite. He kept urging me to add to the funds because he was embarrassed to have only put in so little when the other guarantors put in so much more. My Uncle wanted his work number so they could chat but Jack kept avoiding it, saying the lines were recorded and he signed a confidentiality agreement, which meant he couldn’t talk about the event. (… forged, too?)  

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Cue the entrance for the F4 (“Boys Over Flowers” or Kang cousins “Cinderella and the 4 Knights”) to come save my skin. Where is the “City Hunter” or “Black Butler” when I need to be saved and avenged for this terrible crime that has made me, once again, a victim? And you better believe I am so angry and I feel so betrayed right now while writing this. In truth, first came the numb feeling of denial, and then an overwhelming sense of sadness and hurt… now, I’m in full-on American-bitch mode, putting together my materials for my police report. And, since it’s an international crime, I think the FBI, too?

I talked to some friends who I’d been talking with about Jack and most of them said they chose not to say anything about their suspicions because of how happy he made me. To have someone love me, unconditionally, from afar, and continue to pursue me with marriage intentions, it’s everything someone of my age and career wanted. At one point, I was even willing to give up my career for him. … I was willing to have a kid with him.

However, knowing all I did and yet, I let him be the one to break it off with me because I wondered how he would do it. And, as it was, he accused me of letting my family get between us and said we could only be friends. But, if I ever went to HK, he would be willing to meet up. So, for the rest of the night, we were very quiet. The money guy called once more and I turned him down, and then he slipped up. He said he didn’t see Jack at work all day and then mentioned how he looked pale. Interesting what they can see over phones, eh? 

So I checked on Jack, who told me to get away from him.

And then, he unfriended me. That’s it. THAT WAS HIS MASTER PLAN?! GEEZ!!

Why take the submissive approach? Well, he didn’t know I reported him to the authorities and FBI. He didn’t know I found out much earlier on and pretty much WATCHED him play me… as if he was in charge. When I refused to pay the larger amount was when he started getting angry and aggravated. The fool thought he was manipulating me, but, in truth, I got some fun in for myself.

I've had time to clear my mind since it happened. It's been about 3 weeks, and today was supposed to be the 3rd day of his LA-trip. Hehe. For someone who didn't exist, he sure made a ripple on my life... LOL!!

Long Distance Savior (08.17.16)

Good day all!! OMG!! I hate playing the field as a woman. Do you have any idea how terrible it is to do it as a woman that men find another slab of meat?! ... It's terrifying and really sad because of those who call and those who don't.

Anyways, on August 10th (2016), HE sent me a lovely message in Chinese on OkCupid but I hadn't read Chinese in so long, I didn't understand a word of it. And because OkCupid wouldn't let me copy the message into a translator, I asked him to translated it into English. He responded kindly and then I asked to WeChat because it has a built-in translator. (Woot!)

We started chatting and everything he said slowly sewed up my broken heart. Each compliment, each line, each run, I couldn't help but feel seduced and enticed, until I found myself falling, gently, for this man from Hong Kong. So far away, and yet, he was closer to me than any man had ever managed to get.

I went from seeing 7 men at the same time, all in rotation, totaling 9 total in my lifetime... after being active on the dating scene for... 1.5 months... Yeah... FAST!! and loose... and I hated it!! but it seemed to be the only way to find someone...

One week was all it took for me to consider him seriously for marriage. I eliminated all others for him... Seven days were enough to test our feelings, connection, and strengthen our love. It sound silly, it's ridiculous if you think about it, and yet... it's strangely the only thing that's keeping me afloat.

Did I mention he's coming out to visit me in September? To meet my family and friends... To date me and get to know me enough... so when I go visit him, I can meet his parents and friends in October... so... yeah... :)

Upside... Many connections in HK want to work with me... but he's my first priority if this pans out...

Wish me luck?

WORST FIRST MEETING/DATE EVER!!! (08.01.16)

I'm new to online dating as a more physically active person, now. So... bear with me on this. 

I’m still getting a sense of when someone is lying and when they’re honestly looking for a connection. I’m not one to judge based on ethnicity and religion, but I know what I want and what I don’t want. I want a man who is confident in himself to carry himself with grace, chivalry, and honesty. I don’t want a perverted excuse of a man who is just looking to hook up under the pretense of looking for something more. Aren’t there enough of those guys in life already? Geez.

So, a guy likes my OkCupid profile and starts chatting with me. We get along because I get along with everyone, and exchange numbers. We start texting and decide to try to meet on the same day. I think it’s fast but he promises no monkey business, just a meeting, nothing more. And I think, “Okay, this guy can’t be so bad.” So, I agree to make the drive out to him because he has work… blah blah blah…

First sign of something not right, HE SHOULD HAVE COME OUT TO ME OR MET ME HALFWAY.

Before meeting him, when I went back to check out his profile, he had deactivated it. And when I asked him why, he said it was because he was talking to me. And… well, as sweet as that could have been, that made me feel like he was hiding something. I felt nervous and anxious but told myself that it was sweet that he was so focused on me, when in reality, I felt irked by this.

Second sign of something not right, I FELT IRKED AND YET, I STILL WENT OUT TO MEET HIM.

Right, so, the drive took over half an hour and he called me to ask where I was. Right? Why was he so fidgety? Shouldn’t he be the confident one? … Bad feelings from his voice, too…

Third sign of something not right, I FELT “UGH” FROM HIS VOICE… SERIOUSLY!! Should have turned around!!

I arrived on time and parked. The guy was halfway down the street and tried to kiss me upon meeting. Physically, I was disappointed, but I thought, maybe he has a sparkling personality. I mean, isn’t that why we stick around if there’s no physical chemistry? Well, he led me into a lovely complex and to a bench by a man-made pond where some ducks and turtles swam. Along the way, he told me the last relationship he had was 8 years long and it had been two years since she ended it with him for a richer man. At that moment, I was actually ticking off my list of annoyances and he was getting a very high score. Geez… but, okay, maybe further conversation could make things better, right?

Fourth sign of something not right, WTF! WHY WOULD YOU KISS SOMEONE YOU JUST MET WHEN TRYING TO SEEK A LTR WITH THEM??

I was so wrong!! We chatted but thirty minutes in, I felt NO chemistry and was actually feeling more and more repulsed as he tried to move closer or chat. I could tell he only had ONE THING on his mind, this coming from a man who had just been telling me how much he longed to be in a long term relationship, and how he was willing to go slow because he wanted to be invested in the relationship part, not just the physical. The last straw was when he kept talking and I felt like being physically sick just to get away from him. I thought I let him down gently by telling him that I don’t feel any chemistry with him. He snapped and got up, saying, “Damn waste of my time,” and walked off.

Fifth sign of something not right, HE LEFT ME THE MOMENT HE FOUND OUT I WOULD NOT PUT OUT. WHAT AN ASS!!

Not knowing my way back to the front gate, I followed, as he repeated, “If we’re not going to hook up, damn waste of my time…” Right? From a guy who was looking long term, not just at the physical, and hoping for something more. So he murmured on how I can get back to the front when I asked and then walked off in the other direction. I walked a bit lost, and had to ask a kind elderly woman for directions. She gave them to me beautifully and simply. When I got into my car, I drove off, shaking my head at how poorly I had judged this guy.

All in all, this was my WORST EXPERIENCE because he was physically, mentally, and psychologically not what he tried to come off as through OkCupid and text. Physically, okay, editing sucks for this reason. Mentally, all he wanted was sex but used the LTR lure to bring me in. And Psychologically, he was quite unsound. He mentioned doing a sport and I think he may have been traumatized by it because he wasn’t all there. Sure, he could have been nervous or shy, but to give off such strong vibes that disgusted and revolted me from the few moments we spent together, I’d never felt so… nauseous.

It’s sad, but, I can see why his former left him. Based on this short encounter, NOTHING would bring me to unblock his number of contact him again. I mean, yes, eventually, I want a LTR with a man who is confident and physically/mentally/psychologically sound and stable… but this man was ALL WRONG for me. Ugh. Even thinking of him now makes my throat want to close up and my stomach want to purge its contents.

Seriously… LADIES AND GENTLEMEN who are on online dating websites… BE CAREFUL!!