Tough Decisions Made (02.06.17)

It's a bit crazy, but I'm single without anyone to play with. By choice, of course, because of the difficult times ahead of me. No guy is good enough to be kept around for such a journey...

Moving Home after a rather intense two years. With the closing down of RainBridge's side faction, other projects are still alive though I'm super spent and tired. I need a break and I want to rest a bit before starting up anything else. So, the move home and the change of the faster for the slower pace in life is necessary to effectively change things for me. Not to mention, the costs of starting and ending a production company, being love-scammed, and trying to survive Grad School on my income? ... I'll admit to getting suicidal ONCE but, that's another reason I'll be making the move. Much of my emotional support system is back home... my family, my sister, my older friends, and moving back to a world that is where the SanB, OC, and LA Counties meet... You know how it is.

Being Single is something I have a lot of experience with. I mean, I was single for 30 years before I got my first kiss. The jerk also happened to perform unfavorable acts on me, which led to a sudden life of promiscuity on my behalf, but after much therapy and talking, I've managed to wean that part of my life off. This move restricts me even more, thus helping the casual end and the dating and serious relationships begin. I can only hope and pray that this keeps up. I'm for the taking! I aim for relationships that will lead to marriage. I'm not good at the casual despite being offered time and time again. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not ready to give a testimony about it, but I am ready to get my life right!

Choosing God has never been an easy thing for me. I was raised a Christian and, before I knew it, it was the only life I knew. I didn't know how to be anything else and that worried me. So, when I moved out for college, it didn't matter much because of the strong presence of Christian friends in my college. And after college, moving home was suffocating. Moving back out to NoHo was a blessing and I loved it more than all else! I wanted nothing more than to stay out there, which was what happened when I got a job. Before all my financial endeavors, I had a rather strong relationship with God and then, suddenly, He was just a voice in the wind that I no longer let blow me around. I was walking on water and then, I fell through and as I began to drown, His hand caught mine as he pulled me back to the surface. I've not yet stood up on the water again, but He still holds my hand as I tread water...

Starting Over used to be an impossible thought for me. I mean, I'd drifted, fallen, cried, stumbled, and accepted another path for myself. Now, I can start in another field that expands my range, and gives my creativity a boost. I wonder if everyone goes through this epiphany? And if so, earlier than me? I actually stressed myself out to the point of getting sick before realizing all this. And though I leave behind several who I've enjoyed temporary happiness with, I'm still hoping for my forever happiness man. 

So... These are my most recent Life Choices for myself. Not sure if I'll lose myself a bit or not in the process. I hope not but there's no guarantee. Going home isn't the pleasant sounding thing most make it out to me. Nope. Going home is re-entering another war zone... naked and unforgiven. 

What a way to end, possibly, the most defining and life-changing year of my life. 

Updates on Tea (10.28.16)

Of all the fun emails I've received about my current transition in life, I felt the need to address it clearly. Since people would rather check my blog as opposed to talk to me, here it is:

No, I'm NOT quitting as a writer/director in the entertainment industry. I will continue in my calling as a filmmaker and I'm happy with it. Yes, I was on hiatus this summer due to the passing of someone I deeply loved... and yes, his passing somewhat impacted me negatively... but because filmmaking was his passion, to continue living out my dreams would honor his memory. So... though I might take a more indirect approach, I will still be working hard at the craft at which I am honing my skills in, continuously and faithfully.

Yes, I am going back to school. I'm applying for my Masters in Library and Information Sciences. It was the path I was on before I discovered AiCaH and am returning to it because of my own wishes. Just think about it... I'll have the world of books at my fingertips... I can hunt down stories, origins, read the authors of our times past, ugh... how wonderful does that sound? I can research for hours and days and not come up for anything other than water. Life would definitely be different, but I see it as richer and much more lush than before. Ain't life grand?

I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I'm not sure how this rumor started. It's funny because the MLIS course is online and my job is still in the LA area. So, where I am now, unless I move to a more comfy place, I'm staying where I live. I do have the hopes and dreams of one day moving into my own town house where I can see green forestry, walk to the local shops, eat amongst familiar strangers, and work in my home office... we'll see if that happens any time soon?

I am single but dating. Oh, of all the tragic and fun events of these past few weeks, the most fun has been meeting new people, networking, chatting, discovering chemistry, and gaining a better sense of the world around me. I am someone who needs people from time to time, so, of course, I will go on the occasional date, but I'm hoping for a consistent lover who will hold my hand in public, kiss me in secret, hold me close whenever possible, and love me as I adore him in return. I want that final companion that will make my life complete, and until I meet him, I am on a journey to him... that's how I see it. And I'm meeting great people along the way. Some become lasting friends, others temporary lovers, but all in all, God has me and I'm good with that.

"The Collector", as great as it was, is over. I have chosen to absorb 3 inactive projects into one to make a more lush and dense, interesting, story. I'm not sure where I'm choosing to distribute it yet... but it will be set to either Hulu, Amc, Amazon, or etc. There are many outlets, just have to find our niche and stay there, I guess. You know how it is... But my cast and crew are waiting, loyal, and patiently keeping busy. I feel the "Recycled"  talent is necessary and I'm excited to see how it moves and where it goes!!

The two main Producers I'm working with are both foreign with many international and domestic connections. VM is looking to bring me on to stories based on true stories, so lots of research there. JJ is looking to fix our feature so that investors will like it and all will be made. How exciting that we are moving forward at this time!! There are others like HH and EG and GP but those are at different stages... as usual. Haha... Se la vi! But still very exciting!!

I still have many projects in the works. I've been meeting guys and girls everywhere just to listen to their stories (good and bad) about dating, life, traditions, shockers, and sex. It's always interesting gathering information and new materials but I have faith that life can keep going as it was...

Questions? Comments? You know how to reach me.

Much love ~ T.

According to Ed...

According to my CoTangent Podcasting Cohost Ed (@edMgonzalez), Mondays and Thursdays are the best times to blog because that's when people read it the most. Is that true? Then, am I just off the time schedule by that much? I like blogging on Saturdays and Tuesdays. Haha.

So, what to write about? Well, I have always been a bit obsessed with the Phoenix and Dragon stories, especially in Chinese mythology, and I have found a GREAT project to put together. I can't really make it into a feature because I don't have the support or the man-power to full that successfully off, but I am capable of doing a small sort of series on my own.

Luckily, a dear old friend of mine has agreed to be featured in my action-packed story!! I actually "googled" her and found this shot of her. She's a looker but she's VERY INTELLIGENT and BRILLIANT when it comes to working. I have no idea why she hasn't gone for modeling or the like, but she has an AMAZING personality and lots of stamina. In short; she's incredible.

My number 2 in command who will be the neurologist and I've casted another good friend for that role... a nutty professor/doctor type person who I've yet to cast, and I need a brilliant and great fighter who doesn't LOOK like he can fight for the last part. Anyone know anyone looking for footage for their reel or... anyone want to try the part?

All of it is set in Los Angeles, maybe we'll shoot in San Francisco later on and, most likely, China, too!! Anyways, the podcast should be up soon!! For now, here's Episode #29 from last week!!



GOOD NIGHT ALL!!