It's a bit crazy, but I'm single without anyone to play with. By choice, of course, because of the difficult times ahead of me. No guy is good enough to be kept around for such a journey...
Moving Home after a rather intense two years. With the closing down of RainBridge's side faction, other projects are still alive though I'm super spent and tired. I need a break and I want to rest a bit before starting up anything else. So, the move home and the change of the faster for the slower pace in life is necessary to effectively change things for me. Not to mention, the costs of starting and ending a production company, being love-scammed, and trying to survive Grad School on my income? ... I'll admit to getting suicidal ONCE but, that's another reason I'll be making the move. Much of my emotional support system is back home... my family, my sister, my older friends, and moving back to a world that is where the SanB, OC, and LA Counties meet... You know how it is.
Being Single is something I have a lot of experience with. I mean, I was single for 30 years before I got my first kiss. The jerk also happened to perform unfavorable acts on me, which led to a sudden life of promiscuity on my behalf, but after much therapy and talking, I've managed to wean that part of my life off. This move restricts me even more, thus helping the casual end and the dating and serious relationships begin. I can only hope and pray that this keeps up. I'm for the taking! I aim for relationships that will lead to marriage. I'm not good at the casual despite being offered time and time again. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not ready to give a testimony about it, but I am ready to get my life right!
Choosing God has never been an easy thing for me. I was raised a Christian and, before I knew it, it was the only life I knew. I didn't know how to be anything else and that worried me. So, when I moved out for college, it didn't matter much because of the strong presence of Christian friends in my college. And after college, moving home was suffocating. Moving back out to NoHo was a blessing and I loved it more than all else! I wanted nothing more than to stay out there, which was what happened when I got a job. Before all my financial endeavors, I had a rather strong relationship with God and then, suddenly, He was just a voice in the wind that I no longer let blow me around. I was walking on water and then, I fell through and as I began to drown, His hand caught mine as he pulled me back to the surface. I've not yet stood up on the water again, but He still holds my hand as I tread water...
Starting Over used to be an impossible thought for me. I mean, I'd drifted, fallen, cried, stumbled, and accepted another path for myself. Now, I can start in another field that expands my range, and gives my creativity a boost. I wonder if everyone goes through this epiphany? And if so, earlier than me? I actually stressed myself out to the point of getting sick before realizing all this. And though I leave behind several who I've enjoyed temporary happiness with, I'm still hoping for my forever happiness man.
So... These are my most recent Life Choices for myself. Not sure if I'll lose myself a bit or not in the process. I hope not but there's no guarantee. Going home isn't the pleasant sounding thing most make it out to me. Nope. Going home is re-entering another war zone... naked and unforgiven.
What a way to end, possibly, the most defining and life-changing year of my life.
Being Single is something I have a lot of experience with. I mean, I was single for 30 years before I got my first kiss. The jerk also happened to perform unfavorable acts on me, which led to a sudden life of promiscuity on my behalf, but after much therapy and talking, I've managed to wean that part of my life off. This move restricts me even more, thus helping the casual end and the dating and serious relationships begin. I can only hope and pray that this keeps up. I'm for the taking! I aim for relationships that will lead to marriage. I'm not good at the casual despite being offered time and time again. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not ready to give a testimony about it, but I am ready to get my life right!
Choosing God has never been an easy thing for me. I was raised a Christian and, before I knew it, it was the only life I knew. I didn't know how to be anything else and that worried me. So, when I moved out for college, it didn't matter much because of the strong presence of Christian friends in my college. And after college, moving home was suffocating. Moving back out to NoHo was a blessing and I loved it more than all else! I wanted nothing more than to stay out there, which was what happened when I got a job. Before all my financial endeavors, I had a rather strong relationship with God and then, suddenly, He was just a voice in the wind that I no longer let blow me around. I was walking on water and then, I fell through and as I began to drown, His hand caught mine as he pulled me back to the surface. I've not yet stood up on the water again, but He still holds my hand as I tread water...
Starting Over used to be an impossible thought for me. I mean, I'd drifted, fallen, cried, stumbled, and accepted another path for myself. Now, I can start in another field that expands my range, and gives my creativity a boost. I wonder if everyone goes through this epiphany? And if so, earlier than me? I actually stressed myself out to the point of getting sick before realizing all this. And though I leave behind several who I've enjoyed temporary happiness with, I'm still hoping for my forever happiness man.
So... These are my most recent Life Choices for myself. Not sure if I'll lose myself a bit or not in the process. I hope not but there's no guarantee. Going home isn't the pleasant sounding thing most make it out to me. Nope. Going home is re-entering another war zone... naked and unforgiven.
What a way to end, possibly, the most defining and life-changing year of my life.
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